The single moms who pull this kind of crap are the same kind of girls who would insist on being able to "go out for a girls night out" but would bitch at their boyfriends for having a "guys night out".

You're picking the wrong kind of girls, is the problem.

This also isn't just an issue among single moms/dads. A lot of parents, moms especially, feel that when they have children that the kids immediately become the #1 in the relationship. It can cause a whole lot of strife in a marriage, especially if one spouse is neglecting the other because of the kids. The spouse should always be the most important in the relationship, and self needs should not be neglected either. That's not to say the kids should be neglected because the parents want to do their own selfish things all the time- it just means there is a balance that needs to be struck. And of course when you're talking about infants that are totally dependent, a lot less time is spent on the relationship between the parents and much more energy is focused on the child- but as they get older, even a few months, a balance needs to be struck and parents have to take a break and focus on what they need too, or you just get burned out and resentful.

I think with the single mom thing a lot also depends on why she is single. You would just really have to tread carefully, because yeah a lot of them (and not just moms, dads too) will have baggage that will be totally detrimental to a healthy relationship with someone else.

 

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I wouldn't hook up with a single mom unless you were fairly mature.

 

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Started dateing single mom 7 years ago she is now my wife and the mother of my 3 kids (the first one is from a different father but she is still mine)

 

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Good for you man! Seriously, congratulations, I'm glad your family is working out for you.


Just a general note: I'm not trying to say that getting involved with a single parent is a guaranteed loser prospect for a relationship, just that it will be difficult and that expectations are not always realistic from both parties. People need to be aware of the difficulties and BOTH parties need to be realistic with their own expectations.

 

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At this point in my life if I was single again I would date a single Mom, but I know it would not be to get remarried again.

Indeed.

 

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I would say go for it. Chances are she learned her lesson and won't get preggers again, so you can get the hoochie and play dad throwing the baseball around if you want, without the child support obligation.

He didn't say 'date', he said 'hook up'. There's a BIG difference.

 

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I think there is a lot of generalizing about single mothers here based on personal experience. It really just comes down to the woman. Some of them are going to have trust issues and may not "allow" you to be a complete parent and some of them will be fine.

My brother, for example, is now living with a single mother (and has since had his own child with her). I have never once witnessed the kind of behavior described here when he disciplines her child from her previous relationship (even before they had their own child). He is more of the authority figure in the household than she is and, in fact, she often requests that [role] from him. And, trust me, I really can't stand her and would have noticed if she harangued him for that because she certainly does for other things! That is one thing, I suppose, I can give her credit for.

 

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Yep. Have to agree.

 

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