Only a few things in life piss me off, and one of those things is these idiots that take their bicycles and ride on the street while wearing their tight spandex Richard Simmons clothing.


Here I am, minding my own business listening to some kind of relaxing music like Ramstein in the left hand lane forced to look at some anerexic dudes butt through his tight blue spandex while he is on his bicycle in front of me in the turning lane. This pisses me off. With his dorky little helmet with the mirror on it sipping on his bottled Aquafina. Who the hell does he think he is? He's a bicycle not a car. Get off the damn road.


Then the light turns and he starts peddling. Does he ride on the side walk? No. Does he ride on the lil strip next to it that is still considered the road to where I can door whack him like an illegal on a side road? Nope. He stays on the main road going 20 in a 25 mph area depriving me of reaching my normal speed of 35 mph. I'm yelling, I'm cussing, and he waves at me.. we hit the next light... and the most disgusting thing happens.


He says Hello.


Except he doesn't say Hello like a normal person (American) he says Hello in French.


I almost instantly threw up because I have never been so insulted before. Here it was, a French person in front of me saying hello in his ugly language. Looking at me with 'the bulge' next to me, with his lil tard helmet on an oversized skinny BMX... ruining my new song which techno would't cure.


I was so mad. I almost ran him over, but wasn't able to because he made a right turn... which only made me more mad cuz i wasn't able to say crap back to him in the chosen language (English).


afk to throw up I'll write more later.

 

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La meilleure ligne dans le poteau entier.

 

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You just made me throw up my taco bell.


I hope you are happy with yourself.

 

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See... French people just make me sick. With their wine sippies, big ugly mustaches, and drool that drops from them like excrements off a porn star during the credits.


Then you have their unshaven dirty bodies, their busted yellow teeth and coffee breathe, their striped clothing and the worst things in the history of worst things:


Mimes.


Mimes piss me off because they just walk around and pull invisible weapons out and do stupid things like walk in place and wear face paint. If it was up to me Mimes would all be incinerated.


The only thing worse then mimes are other French people, then French Canadians, real Canadians, and bicyclers who drive on the road... that turn out to be French wearing spandex and have helmets with mirrors on them drinking bottled water....


almost like Bird Watchers.. God I hate Bird Watchers to.


And wtf is up with men wearing clothing that shows 'the bulge.'

 

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http://reviews.roadbikereview.com/files/2008/12/rob1.jpg

 

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Lexi, I could have sworn just about everything pissed you off.


I spell checked this

 

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If you read my 'diarys' at: http://chimpersworld.com/ then you would realise that there are a few things that do not anger me.


such things as:


Steve Irwin

Bruce Campbell

My pets

Asian People

Zombie Movies

Kung Fu Movies


I'm sure there is more.... but I cannot think of them right now.

 

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C'est drole ca. Tu sais que je suis francais, non?!

 

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You are all traitors to God's language and thus should be executed.

 

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haha, even God's language was completely different 100 years ago. As we evolve, so do the languages and the terminologies!

 

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