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In the spirit of a good troll about the follies of youth, I am going to post this little account that I'm writing up for a friend. Most of it is true, but I reserve the right to embellish. Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the guilty, the smart, and the stupid.

Post anything you want on the thread...I don't care...star farm until your heart is content...it's 4:30pm and work is BORING!
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(Forewarning: You are going to experience a bit of American and Mormon culture in this story, as it is somewhat intertwined and crucial to the plot. I'll try to be as clear as possible, though.)

Disclaimer: I was not quite 17 years old when all this happened. I think that's really the only disclaimer necessary. She was about 16.

Part I - The First Encounter


I am at the church one Wednesday evening, helping my mother with some filing and whatnot related to her position at the time of choir director. Wednesday also happened to be Youth Activities night, and things were just finishing up, with the standard mess of people mulling every which way, pickup games of volleyball and basketball forming, etc.

The filing closets are located right next to the bishop's (director of a congregation of approximately 200-500 people) office, so I am conveniently located when his door opens and out walks the bishop with a middle-aged man and a young blonde girl. The bishop sees my mother and I and introduces them.

"Clark, I would like you to meet Emily McBael'Zharon and her father (can't remember his first name). Would you mind showing Emily around for a moment and introducing her to some of the other youth?"

"Sure," says I, wholly ignorant of the very small snowball which had just been ever so slightly rolled off the top of a VERY big mountain...

HEHE, GO PODDY GO PODDY!

*waits for part 2*


Now that my release is out...work is boring

 

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so...you had sex with her?

 

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LOL, we're getting there Juju...ever so slowly.


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Part II - The First Encounter Now in Full Swing, Time for Some First Impressions...


Physical - Emily stood almost as tall as me, which was around 5' 10" at the time, I think. She was neither petite nor fat, but could be considered large as far as girls go. She clearly outweighed my paltry 140 pound frame.


Her hair was a very nice blonde color, cut to just above shoulder length, and hung straight. She had a prominent nose and chin, and wore dark eye makeup (or had dark eyes) perhaps, as she seemed to me to project an "imposing" image, if that is the proper term.


She walked stiffly, with a bit of a "swagger" due to the fact that she turned her feet outward with each step. Her eyes seemed to wander from place to place, too.


All in all, a bit too much woman for little Clark, sizewise. While the hair was nice, the face just didn't "do it" for me. Besides, my heart at the time belonged to an errant angel on Earth that most people mistook for a girl named Angelica...her story only briefly intersects this one, so I will leave her be for the moment.

Clark?

Yes, this story is partly told in first person, partly in 3rd person. Clark is the narrator, so to speak. You can assume that is me, if you like.

w00t, keep up the good work for the rest of us bored workers!!

 

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Nice writing Podunkmer.

May I suggest less adverbs- the "ly" ones in particular. Try it out, story will flow nicer.

Not a flame, not a flame, not a flame.

Part III - Her Mouth Opens; I Leave.


"ou're from Whoville your dad said?"


[Ed: This is happening in a quaint little suburb of Whattown, some 4 hours north of Whoville.]


"eah."


"Cool. Been there a few times. Okay, I think some of the other girls went into the gym over this way for some volleyball."


[Some of the larger Mormon churches have multipurpose rooms that can be used for basketball, volleyball, and will have a stage on the side for plays, etc. Yeah I know it's a little weird. ]


"Oh, I'm not interested in girls."


???


To this day I'm not 100% sure exactly what she said, but it was definitely something along those lines. I didn't have time to clarify, as we then ran into Jack Jackson in the hall.


Jack was an attractive and popular young man who had recently begun frequenting our youth activities because of Jill, his girlfriend. Jill was not to be seen at the moment.


"Oh hey! Emily, this is Jack Jackson. Jack, this is Emily. Hey Jack, I've got to head home with my mother, can you introduce Emily to a few people?"


I suppose I didn't really wait for a yes or no, because my mom was now walking out the door (little did she know her auctions prevented what could have been certain death for me), and there I left them, Emily and Jack, standing rather awkwardly there in the hall...