1) We have the highest incarceration rate in the world. Compared to the rest of the first world, our incarceration rates are obscene. Though I'm sure it has nothing to do with privatization (or prison for profit).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_incarceration_rate
2)From an earlier thread. We also have more deaths in school shootings than the rest of the world combined. Another number to be proud of. WE ROCK.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_shooting#1990s
3) We are the 52nd worst country for income inequality. We hang out in the list with great countries like Cambodia, Mozambique and Turkmenistan.
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/eco_inc_equ_un_gin_ind-income-equality-un-gini-index
4) We have the greatest healthcare system in the world.
We put out the most per captia for health care but are 36th in life expectancy and 37th in efficiency.
http://lauraschneider.wordpress.com/2009/06/20/where-does-america-rank-in-healthcare-quality-and-efficiency/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_life_expectancy
5) We are 20th in the education index behind such power houses as Cuba, Bosnia and Herzegovina, and Slovenia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Education_Index
6) Our #1 export is Jobs and our #1 import is cheap foreign labor, legal or illegal.
Now on to some things that you can't really quantify through statistics.
Entertainment:
Jersey Shore, Survivor, Apprentice / Celebrity Apprentice, American Idol, Anything on TruTV, etc, so on and so forth.
Corporatism, Consumerism, and the plain old fact that everything we see or hear is geared to either extract more money from us, or gather information on how to better extract money from us. This also includes the waste brought on by planned obsolescence because you need to keep sales numbers at a certain level. Running a profitable business isn't good enough. It has to be OBSCENELY profitable.
Like our freedom of choice in politics, our freedom of speech is just an illusion.
We are the most policed and monitored nation ever to exist. We have no privacy because someone is always watching and someone is always listening. Some governments and agencies sell private information to public companies.
"Free Market Capitalism" is good until the "Free Market" screws us all, then we bail it out and its good again.
You can spend more time in prison for downloading a song than you can for raping your neighbor.
We, as Americans, are not measured by what we accomplish in life, but by what we accumulate.
If this is truly the best we can do we are surely and completely fvcked.
/rant
What can you add to our list of great crowning achievements.
-----signature-----
"The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions."
- George Carlin
"The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions."
- George Carlin
I'll have a homebrew if you don't mind. 
Relax chief.