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i thought up two more of my flaws. first, i am not 'afraid' of heights in the sense of being scared , but when i am high off the ground and in a position where i might fall, i get a very uncomfortable feeling in my body. i like to think of it as a sense of self preservation rather than being 'afraid' of heights. i am able to overcome it, when neeeded, to climb rope, go up on ladders, to do roof work, clean gutters, etc, but i would not be very comfortable working a career as a construction worker, and i dont go rock climbing for fun. second, i usually speed, although i have never received a speeding ticket (one reason being, i am very good at talking to police, always very respectful). but, i dont feel comfortable going 65 on a parkway/interstate, even 75 feels too slow, im much more comfortable around 80, which is ticketable. 60 on a highway, 50 on a 35, etc. ive had some close calls, often with pockets full of large bags of pot, but ive always been let off.
i typed two of my best ones out while im cooking a shark steak.
once, a few years ago, i was driving home to go to a town EMS meeting after i had driven around all day smoking blunts inside my car with different people. this day happened to be the most snowfall we have received in my town since ive been alive. something like 15 inches of snow. i completely lost control at one point, which had never happened to me before, and my jeep spun a complete 360, and just when i was facing forwards again i regained control. kept driving around smoking, baking the car out, never once dropping the windows. even when people got in and out, most of the smoke stayed inside. there were dutch guts and wrappers everywhere, but by the end of the day, there was no weed left.
finally i was driving home, by myself, and i rounded a corner going about 40. i was in 4 wheel drive and felt comfortable, even though there was so much snow. i skidded slightly out of my lane as i made the slight turn, and slid right past a state trooper, who had turned off the military road. i knew i was in trouble. he was going about 5 miles an hour in his SUV. i watched him in my mirror, sure enough, his lights lit up. i stopped, and he pulled up behind me. i rolled down my windows but he got out of his car pretty soon, he later said that when i opened my windows, he saw smoke literally billowing out of the car like it was a chimney or something. i pictured this to look something like a scene in a cheech and chong movie more or less. h e didnt think it was too funny though. first hes all like, get out of the car. then, OK , tell me where is the marijuana. "i dont have any, but im not going to lie, i was smoking , but its all gone now". "tell me where it is, or im calling the drug dogs, right now". "look im really sorry but there is none left, you can search the car". hes like OK, then pats me down (such a half ass patting attempt too, but when a car passed us, i could tell he put some more effort in, like he knew he was giving me a break from the start. he searched the entire car, but he didnt find a fire hydrant wrench (me and my bud found one once when we were like 16 hanging on a fire hydrant, and when we were drunk (i seriously am a lightweight now, 4 beers and i feel drunk , we used to split handles of captain morgan between all of us and finish it, always drinking to the point of feeling like about to puke, i had such a high tolerance then) we used to go drive around at night with the neighborhood girls and open up fire hydrants, was fun times) that was hidden under one of my floor mats which i thought was lucky and funny because im pretty sure its illegal to possess one of those. anyways, he ended up being like, OK, get in the car, im going to follow you back to your house. now im like, damn, how fast do i drive. so i went back, around 25 on the 35, luckily it was only a few blocks. he ended up giving me some extremely minor $50 ticket and a warning.
next, a few years later, im taking a summer class in the city, to catch up with my major switch. chemistry 2, time for the final. i was going home just for a few days , so i didnt need to bring any clothes, so i took my packpack to the test. in my front pouch i had my calculator and pencils, in the main pack, SERIOUSLY, all i had was one three ounce bag of pot. like, that was literally the ONLY thing in there right. 2 ounces in new york is a felony. i was bring some back for me and for some friends.
so i go down the stairs to the canal street station so i can take an uptown train. its like 8 am. right away i see seriously the biggest chinese person ive ever seen in person standing at the stairs, in NYPD uniform. there a normal sized white cop at the other stairs, and a middle aged hispanic guy standing at an empty table. the hispanic cop says to me, in a voice that didnt offer much option, "step over to the table". i know that you can refuse these searches, but at the time it sure seemed like there was not much option. there was nobody else in this front part of the station. i went to the table. he says, "put your bag on the table." so i said, OK, and put it down. then he says, "open up the bag", so i start to open it up... i actually get it fully opened, i look inside. all you can see is this pretty big bag of amazing weed. i pause.. i put the bag back down, so you cant see inside. i say to him - "officer, i am really sorry, but i have a bit of marijuana in here." he doesnt respond. i go on, "im on my way to take a final for school. its really important." i start to get nervous, "If i miss this final, i cant retake it, its really bad." i stop talking - he doesnt respond for what seems like half a minute. Finally, he points towards the subway. im like, "Thank you, Thank you!" and i walk really fast , swipe my card, and wait on the subway platform. close one.
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