Anyone see it? Thumbs up/thumbs down? May go see it after work sometime this week but I'm still on the fence about it.

 

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It starts out soooo bad.

Then for a little bit it's so bad it's good.

Then it's right back to sooooooo bad.

Seriously though it's pretty awful. The acting's bad, the feeble attempts at comedy are HORRENDOUS, the only likeable character in the entire thing doesn't talk at all, and basically none of it makes sense. Even the action scenes are huge letdowns because it drags on for an hour and the big climactic fights last all of 15 seconds. The movie is like 2 and a half hours long, but it still ends so abruptly you'd think you were hit with a train.

The first hour to hour and a half is shia lebouf being extremely unlikeable trying to get a job to impress his awful supermodel hot girlfriend and his even more awful parents while he runs into horribly unfunny coworkers and military advisors played by normally outstanding actors. The transformers are only in there for like 5-10 minutes at best.

The only positive thing to say is there's no racism-bots this time. Unfortunately there are still tiny comedy-bots.

I honestly think Bay made the sequels like this just to spite people who dislike the horrible things about them.

thanks for the review, will probably give it a miss.

 

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List of good actors giving in horrible performances who really really needed a paycheck:

John Malkovich
Frances McDormand
John Turturro
Alan Tudyk
Ken Jeong
Leonard Nimoy-bot
Hugo Weaving-bot

liked it better than the 2nd

thought the sheer bayanity of it all actually made it better than it was in a so-ridiculous-you-can't-hate-it way

optimus apparently turned into a straight-up bamf

mostly agree with the good actors being wasted, though merely their presence made it more enjoyable for me [mainly tudyk and malkovich]

mcdormand was awful and i hated her

appreciated nimoy returning to the franchise

glad to hear soundwave's original voice actor

not a great film, but i knew going in the acting and plot were going to be low-end. i went for more transformers fighting each other, and received a fair dosage. wasn't disappointed, but the bar wasn't very high.

didn't appreciate the non-canon things they included/excluded

 

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damning words if ever I heard them.

 

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I saw it on a huge IMAX screen. It looked very very good, the 3D was not just barely there. I don't really care about 3D, and don't know if it was shot natively but it seemed much more omnipresent than a crappy post-conversion. And there is no end of CGI which blended very well.

I'll at least say it was better than the 2nd, which I watched for the first time earlier that day (you know, so I could keep up with all the intricate story developments... oh wait, there are no stories). I don't understand why they seem to be trying to make Shia some sort of 3-Stooges-like physical comedian in both sequels... he's all about nervous energy, weird face twitching, and other crap that is not funny but instead painful to watch on screen. Also, like the second this new one was waaaay too long.

On the plus side it was filled with subtle dialogue like Sam's mom saying "What a beautiful box" as Sam's meeting Megan Fox II for the first time.

I agree with all of the following from the VF 25 questions for it:

Q: Did you enjoy Transformers: Dark of the Moon?

A: In a sadistic way, yes.

Q: So Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a good movie?

A: God, no. It relentlessly beats the viewer into submission over the course of two and a half hours. By the time it’s finished, you’ll be lost in numb happiness. It’s the cinematic equivalent of a lobotomy.

Q: Does the movie have a coherent plot?

A: Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a clusterf*** of nonsense.

Q: If you’re going to be blurbed in this weekend’s commercials for Transformers: Dark of the Moon, what quote do you hope they’ll use?

A: “Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a clusterf*** of nonsense!” —Mike Ryan, Vanity Fair

Q: How are the film’s special effects?

A: You know the tagline to 1978’s Superman, “You’ll believe a man can fly”? Transformers: Dark of the Moon’s tagline should be: “You’ll believe a car can change into a robot that says obnoxious things.”

Q: Should I see Transformers: Dark of the Moon?

A: Probably not, but you will anyway. And you will leave the theater a less intelligent human being, but you will also leave slightly happier.

 

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I agree with Milk and Orr almost completely.

 

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I've passed on all of these movies, and I can't honestly say I'm curious to ever watch them.

 

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