In an idle moment I fell to thinking of Yset’s beaux ingame, and what she may have learnt … class by class.
(for interest’s sake, the tally, as much as I can remember it, is:
Pallies: 6
Mercs: 5
Armsmen: 3
Infs: 3
Scouts: 1
Minstrels: 0
Cabalists: 1
Sorcerers: 0
Theurgists: 1
Wizards: 2
Clerics: 0
Friars: 0
Looks like I attract people that like to smack things, hehe ……
)So … here is
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THE WISE WOMAN’S GUIDE TO THE MEN OF ALBION
PALADINS:
Seem to be obsessed with gallantry and courtly love. Swoon and sigh and yearn and declare love at the drop of a hat (or plate helmet). But – are you the only woman in their lives, or do they love the Church more? Have a tendency to make vows and use them as excuses. Need to do a lot of guesswork with them. Can you cope with having to be good and well-behaved all the time with them? No, thought not. It can be fun to corrupt them, however.
MERCENARIES:
They’re for hire. That should tell you a lot. Often use two-pronged attacks in their wooing (beware: just when you think everything is all straightforward they come over all gallant at you and act like a paladin). If they can’t get you the one way, they’ll try the other. However, having both hands occupied leaves them at your mercies, somewhat. Also have the knack of using flowery language when the mood takes ‘em. Don’t be taken in. Someone probably paid ‘em to do it.
ARMSMEN:
Rough an’ ready and that’s how they like it, baby. Used to being in the frontline and acting quickly, so will sweep you off your feet in no time (and very possibly carry you off over their shoulder). Somehow, drink doesn’t seem to affect their performance. Unlike paladins, who invoke God a lot, armsmen appear to believe they ARE God. They have a worrying tendency to get lost a lot, usually with an attractive woman in tow. Don’t listen to them if they blather on about hot springs in Snowdonia. They need regular thwacking if you want them to behave themselves.
INFILTRATORS:
Utter rogues, and won’t let you forget it. Can insinuate themselves into almost anything. Seem to be somewhat fond of dancing. Like to play with your perceptions, not to mention other things. Hear a word whispered in your ear, feel a warm breath on the back of your neck, an’ a warmer hand elsewhere, when you thought you were all alone? That’ll be an inf, then. Good for lurking in shadowy corners with (hint: keep a black hooded cloak with you for such purposes
)MINSTRELS:
Singers of sweet songs, their honeyed words, I am sure, can be well-put to other uses. Remember, they have to be poetic for a living. Do they actually mean what they say? Alas, I am not the one to advise you of this: no minstrels have yet sung any lovesongs to me.
SCOUTS:
Remember, Cupid had a bow and arrows, too. Scouts tend to worship from afar before letting their dart loose. Another class that prefers to sneak the subject into a conversation rather than be upfront about it.
THEURGISTS:
Hmmm. With all those minions running about, these guys seem to wish for a harem. Be prepared for a little bit of slavery and ordering about. Which is all well and fine.
CABALISTS:
Don't we all have a little fascination for the dark side? I've been told on good authority that I should put that cabalists are innocent and sensitive, but I strongly suspect that this is merely part of a Cunning Plan to lower defences (and ye'll have to try a damned site harder than that!). They get a bonus for rarity value, though.
SORCERERS:
Alas, again, no direct experience of these, having so far been invulnerable to their charms (or, should that be, they have been invulnerable to mine?). Too much competition from all those poor beings they drag around with them as pets.
WIZARDS:
You could be playing with fire with these, or get one that is icy-hearted. Wizards appear to blow hot and cold. Somewhat preoccupied, they often appear subject to strange fixations, occasionally involving barbed shackles (just ... don't ... ask).
CLERICS AND FRIARS:
I tried to find some hearsay on these, as I must be too much of a fallen woman for them. There wasn't any. That's worrying. Have they all taken holy vows of abstinence, or is that just the ones I've met?
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(my, I was bored at work today ... heh)
