Alright, ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your hats.
This could take awhile...
Twenty-five years, ten months, and twenty three days ago, I came into this world. On a Tuesday.
From what I’ve been told, my Grandparents fought to come over early that morning, May 22nd of 1979 to see their first grandchild. My Dad’s parents, my Grandpa and Nana, brought someone with them for me – a stuffed bunny who came to be known as ‘Buns’. This is Buns today:
The next five years were nothing short of perfect. My Mum was a stay-at-home Mum, so I was never left with babysitters or sent to daycare. We would spend hours building legos, having tea parties, going for walks to the park, singing songs about our cats Linus and Lucy. My Dad, at that point, worked for UBC (University of British Columbia), and my Mum and I would go on day trips to see him. We would have lunch at The Hudson’s Bay cafeteria downtown, and shop, and then take the bus out to visit with him, where we would pick up rice crispy squares and sticky buns at the SUB shop in the student union building. I still have audio tapes of me, about three years old, digging through my Dad’s desk and asking him why he had so many pens.
We went to Disneyland that year – my Dad had a conference to go to, so my Mum and I tagged along. It was, and still is, in the top five things that have happened in my life. I’ve never had so much fun. I remember cuddling with Richard the Lionhearted for almost an hour – riding the Pirates of the Caribbean, climbing through the Swiss Family Robinson tree house, and getting stuck in the rain on Main Street. We rode the rides until my Mum was nearly sick – and then I found out why.
My parents decided to tell me in the hotel pool one night, that by the Summer of 1984, I would have a new baby brother or baby sister. I don’t think I really understood it at the time, and sort of shrugged it off. Sure enough, my baby brother was born in July of that year, and although sharing the spotlight took some getting used to, I loved him right away.
I went to Kindergarten in the Autumn of 1984. I loved it. I loved that I now had doubled my daily toy selection, and they had costumes! And blocks! And paints! I didn’t make very many friends however, and quickly discovered that having been left out of pre-school meant I was left out of the cliques. But at that point in my life, I didn’t care too much.
Elementary school. Hate is a strong word, which I reserve for special occasion, but I’ll be totally honest – I hated it. I was a tom-boy – I wore pants and shirts, and running shoes, while all the other girls were dressed ‘pretty’. I wasn’t interested in playing with dolls – I wanted to play Transformers! And He-man! And building forts – okay, so that was the one redeeming quality of Elementary school; it was great fort-building terrain.
Through all this, my brother was my best friend. I would come home, and always have someone to play with. We’d build huge lego towns, or pretend we were wrestlers – we made a giant cardboard replica of the Starship Enterprise, and made paper cutouts of all the STNG cast, and used to write and act out our own episodes. Holy crap - we were geeks. Hah!
Anyway, I didn’t do very well in school, and in part, I think it was due to all the teasing and harassment. The teachers were little help – and I remember one instance of being told I was not going to pass grade four unless I did a cartwheel in Gym. The teacher mocked me in front of the class, and subsequently the class mocked me, and I thought I was going to die.
I still can’t do a cartwheel.
By Grade seven, I had my first crush. Mark. He was hot. Funny, I found out recently that he’s in rehab with a cocaine problem. Not so much.
When HS rolled around, I thought I was ready. The whole summer before grade 8 was spent planning and plotting, and being cool with my friend Catherine. We made a bunch of beaded bracelets, and friendship bracelets, and a tape of ourselves, and sent it to Pearl Jam. I smoked a menthol. We went swimming in our underwear in a nearby park. We were pretty hardcore.
Not hardcore enough I suppose, because by the time day one came, I was crying like a baby. I spent the first two weeks of HS under my bed in tears, throwing up every morning. I was finally forced to go, and discovered that it wasn’t so bad.
Oye – this is turning into a long one.
Grade 8, I met my best friend Crystal. She was super cool, and she’d actually owned horses. OWNED THEM! I was immediately Lisa Simpsonized. Her family wasn’t too financially well off though, and I remember feeling bad for them when we’d go to her house. Crystal and I spent many days together chasing boys, doing homework, cliff jumping at ‘the Canyon’. Being hardcore grungers. That sort of stuff. She’s my partner in crime, you could say.
I had my first boyfriend in grade 9. Brian. He was hot, but he smoked pot. I wasn’t sure about that stuff, so I told him I was allergic to it. I think he thought that was cute – we only went out for about a month.
Then I met Scott. Scott was my HS sweetheart – we went through almost everything together. We spent most of our time watching movies and making out, and having deep discussions on what we thought about life. We also learned to rock-climb together – something I haven’t done since we broke up. I found out, in grade 11, that he’d cheated on me with one of his parent’s Japanese exchange students. Not knowing how to deal with this, I cheated on him with a guy who I knew had a crush on me. The next year or so was a series of volatile eruptions which led to him trying to kill himself, then threatening his mother with a knife, and going to get some professional help. I realize now that he was depressed, and that was probably another good reason to get out of the relationship. I miss him though – I miss the good times.
Throughout HS, I was involved with Drama and Choir mostly. I auditioned for, and got my first part in a Spring production when I was in grade 9, called ‘The Playroom’. It was an odd commentary on life in the sixties for rich kids. I loved Choir, and was also part of an extracurricular vocal jazz ensemble that was by audition only. I always felt really cool and lucky to be a part of that. I miss singing with a group – hell, I miss singing and performing all together. Something to do, someday. I’ve always thought I’d like to start a jazz quartet.
Throughout HS, I’d had a variety of jobs. I started working when I was 12, and had a paper route for almost two years. 500 papers, three times a week. Made a lot of money – enough to keep me going till around grade 10 when I went to work in a small coffee shop in a local mall. I also worked as an elf – yes, an elf, stop laughing – at Christmas time in our local shopping mall. It was there, that I unfortunately mistook Santa Claus for a responsible adult, and in grade 12 met the man who would trash the next four years of my life.
Grade 12 was a rough time – my Dad was diagnosed with Cancer, and my Mum and I were fighting like cats and dogs, so getting away from it all seemed like the right idea (even though it really wasn’t). So right after I graduated HS, pretty much, I got a job at Club Monaco and left to live with ‘loser’ (aka Santa Claus). My parents and I didn’t talk for awhile after that.
The next four years consisted of not being able to pay the rent, dealing with an alcoholic, moving from one place to the next, and generally feeling lower than I ever have in my life. I got a job working for a bank, and made a lot of money – but was also afforded a lot of credit. Which I foolishly decided to share with loser, and he used it to supplement his lack of income and support his drug and alcohol habits. My life was a mess. During this time, I discovered Asheron’s Call, and it provided a bit of respite from my otherwise horrific life. I would spend all my free time on my computer playing it, escaping.
I started writing my first screenplay too during this time. Though I’d been writing all my life, I’d never thought to write for film – even though that was where I wanted to end up, career wise. I’d dreamed of being an actor all my life, but really didn’t know where to get started. My late teens were spent doing some children’s theatre with loser that we’d co-wrote, which was good, but not quite good enough. I’d done a lot of community theatre as a child, but for some reason I just couldn’t figure out how to get my footing at this point in my life. So screenwriting proved to be a good outlet.
Just five days before my 23rd birthday, I’m pretty sure I escaped death. Loser and his brother showed up, at around 4am one morning at our apartment, drunk, probably stoned, and angry. They were shouting at each other over something – I asked them to keep it down so they didn’t wake up the neighbors. They both attacked me, and threw me against my desk – I grabbed the phone and dialed 911 for the first time in my life. The cops came, and took them away – but not far enough I guess, because at 8am they were back, and still not sober. So I called my Dad. My parents came and got me. I took my computer, and my clothes, and left – patching things up with my folks was going to be much easier than living the life I was living. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to realize that.
The next few months were very strange. When you hit bottom like that, it’s almost euphoric. You just float around, and life seems so detached from whatever the hell it is you’re doing. I’ve never been on one, but I’d think it’s probably similar to an acid trip.
Through it all, my friend Raylin from AC was there for me. He’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and we’ve never even met face to face. I don’t know what I’d do without him sometimes.
I got my life sorted out. I realized that I’d been so isolated, that I had difficulty talking to people without a keyboard. THAT, was weird. I got a part-time job, filed for bankruptcy thanks to loser, started looking at going back to school. I went to work full-time for Ticketmaster, where I met Phil – my current boyfriend. I wasn’t really looking for anyone at that point, despite it being a little over six months later, but we just happened to meet and clicked.
Phil has been really great. He’s introduced me to a lot of great independent filmmakers (he’s a composer himself), he’s been supportive of me, and he’s loved me unconditionally. We’re going through some rough stuff right now, thanks to me and that damn M word. I think we’ll come out okay. I hope. I love him.
I went back to film school, and settled on wanting to be a filmmaker. I have too many things that I enjoy doing in film – though screenwriting and acting are the top two. I want nothing more than to produce, direct, act, and most of all, write, for the rest of my life and make a living. I don’t need to be famous – just happy.
Yes, I belly dance. That was my addition this year – I try to add something new to my life every year. I love it. I recommend it to any of the ladies out here, even if you never perform or take it beyond the classroom. There’s something so fundamental about it, and you won’t see what I mean until you try it. Ironically enough, belly dance originated as part of middle eastern child birth – it was what women would go off and learn to do at around month seven or eight of pregnancy, and then they would do during birth to keep the contractions less painful and get the birth moving faster.
Holy. I guess I’ve yammered on almost long enough. Few more minutes though.
Fun facts about me:
• I’m 5’6
• My first films, which inspired me to filmmaking, were Indiana Jones, and Ghostbusters.
• I use live journal. Shaddup.
• I’m almost 26 and still don’t have my full drivers license.
• I love scotch.
• I’m actually happy living at home with my parents. Really.
• My brother is my best friend. I love him more than anything.
• I suck at FPS, but I love them anyway. I figure if I keep trying, eventually I’ll kick ass.
• I’m a sucker for compliments.
• I have a clothing addiction. I can never have enough clothing.
• I pride myself on being the coolest geek I can be. Geek is very important to me.
• I’ve met Robin Williams, almost got hit by Sylvester Stallone (in a car), and now I’ve added Rupert to the mix.
• The best birthday party I EVER had, was thanks to my friend Crystal. My 17th – she arranged a huge, HUGE surprise party with about 25 of my friends. We all went for dinner, they pummeled me with presents, and then we went to the beach and built a bonfire, played guitar and sang till well after dark.
• My biggest dream is to attend the Oscars - on invitation.
• My biggest aspiration (aside from filmmaking) is to go back to University and get my degrees, and make my Dad proud.
• My Dad is my hero.
Okay I’m sure there’s a lot more I could say, but then everyone is going to not like me so much, so I’ll end it here.
Thanks guys and gals!
