Hi Doctor Nick!

 

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Don't be so fast to do the surgery, there are huge risks (can you even fathom how risky for a 90 year old?).

My cousin died today, he went in to have a tumor removed from his brain, the surgery went well until he had two massive strokes which caused bleeding in his brain, and irreparable brain damage. He was in a coma for several days and they pulled the plug this morning. He was only 44 years old, and in very good physical health otherwise.

Get a third opinion

 

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Your point has a great deal of value and you're right, I can only assume how things went. Like you said, many (I would actually extend that to doctors outside of family practice) surgeons aren't known for their people skills. As I've gotten older, I've made myself way more assertive when around doctors. If I feel they're talking too technical, I hound them until they give me an explanation that I can understand. If I feel they're rushing, I'll keep asking them questions until I'm satisfied that I have enough information to deal with the situation. I'm not stupid, but I'm not a doctor so I don't know what a lot of medical stuff means. I think people (patients and their loved ones) often feel too self-conscious to get all of the information because they don't want to look dumb to the doctor. I feel that when I'm dealing with a major health issue, I want to know what's going on in terms I can understand.

That knowledge directly helps your second point, which is understanding that doing nothing can be the best course of action. I think people freak out about doing nothing because they don't understand exactly what's going on - which can be fixed by communication. That communication varies from a doctor that will sit with you until you say "Nope, no more questions" to one you have to follow around the hospital. But you're right - you have an equal amount of responsibility to get that information as the doctor does to give the information.

 

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see this pretty much everyday...

both sides of the coin.

Working in radiology in the hospital can be so much fun...

I'm glad I can say, "I'm not the Dr. you'll have to wait to talk to them for the results."

 

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That or a salaried surgeon with no reason to needlessly cut open your grandfather gave you a realistic assessment of the situation. You decided you didn't like reality and shopped around until you found someone happy to take the money regardless of the rather significant risk your grandfather now gets to spend his final days on some tubes in the ICU instead of at home in relative comfort and surrounded by loved ones. Good luck, I hope your take on it is closer to reality...

 

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Sounds rough, sorry.

 

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I enjoy reading about memory and how flawed it is. it is interesting to know that rephrasing a question can change how it is answered (see Elizabeth loftus). memory and even vision are constructions whose purposes are better served by being efficient and current than 100% accurate. if you've stared at an optical illusion then you know already that your vision is a bunch of unconscious inferences that can be easily fooled. it is equally amazing how emotions play a role in shaping your memories as you (reconstruct) recollect them. my hippocampus being awash in alcohol, i can't give you details or grammar. But, you should know how fking far away you are from reality. you don't know it directly, there is an organ called the brain between you and it. your head is full of symbols and representations, not the reality of the outside world. so question everything, because you can.