I rathers have my ovaries removed by the tentacles of a Kraken, then watch this movie a second time. It ranked up there with Sweeney Todd and any movie Uwe Bohl made. The entire movie was a piss poor version of every Star Wars conclusion, and I seen better acting during episodes of The MILF Hunter.
The vocals of this movie were plain and dead, and the fight scenes were so full of college intro CGI that I felt like I was watching a 1990s video game intro. The Masters of Orion intro for all 3 games were better than this movie. (I love and miss those games).
GI Joe was highly disappointing. If anyone plans on getting laid do not take a date to see this movie for 2 reasons.
1. It will be impossible to get sexually aroused after watching this movie.
2. Your date will most likely die or kill you after being forced to watch this movie.
My sister said it would be a good idea to get out of the house, now that my ankle is doing better and I can leave a bit. Not only is she in a coma, but somehow my ankle hurts again. It might have decided to break itself again just to bail out after 10 minutes of this God awful flick. When we came home, my dog knew something was wrong and urinated on me.
I touched base on the Star Wars rip offs so lets focus on that. The entire fight scene at the end was like the battle of Yavin. Everything from the scene of the ground turrets shooting, to them launching the Death Star and shooting the big ship to the quote of 'we cannot repel an attack of that magnitude,' to the Darth Vader / Luke battle in Empire Strikes back and even the infamous "I'm your father" quote... except it wasn't fathers but Brothers. (no spoiler due to it being announced in the first 2 minutes). I can go on and on, but the entire design up to the viewing room where they watched the battle outside from the glass window was completely done in copy of Star Wars... George Lucas should sue.
I'm gonna watch something to snap me out of this state I am in. Maybe a documentary about this chick named Debbie and her escapades through Dallas, or Winnie the Pooh, or even stare at dog crap in my back yard. Anything is better than this movie.
F+ and that's for effort alone. The only good thing I saw in this movie was when they tore up parts of France, and that's because French people suck choad water.
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